missing the lil devil with me

today, i missed my lil devil so bad. i just randomly thought about him and then the pain starts flowing, like water released in a big dam.all those repressed feelings left went on strike today.the memories flashes in my mind like an unforgettable movie, things and circumstances were like deja vu today and it makes me crazy. i dont know why this happens, but i am glad it did. i wanted to ask so many questions to him.i want to hug him and say, "ill never let you go this time'. bottom line is, i regretted my decision to let what we had, go. i was hurting that time. this lil devil had my world in his hands, and i thought that i had his in mine. and today, i wrote a letter just for this devil... for my most loved lil devil, i regret the day i decided to let you go, because now, iam the one who's in more pain.i wanted to let you know that i am sincere with all the feelings i showed and i was hurt by the fact that i cant have you back.you want freedom, i want commitment. we are so different and yet, i still push myself towards you.its been a long time and i should have been over you but you are still here. damn me..foolish of me to still hope that you are also waiting for me.. closure,,one word to finish all this hope.until you say that you dont want me, im still here.. but for the time being, let me drown in this feeling and treasure whatever moments you had left with me...